Friday, December 28, 2007
Cudnt resist sharing these pics..
Thats our maid's daughter..
When this sweetheart of mine cries, I tend to attract her attention to any weird stuff lying around da house...This time, when after the photo session she refused to leave the tub, I had to lure her away with a box of matchstix which made a rattling sound that somehow appeased her..
How easy it is to distract kids..and how difficult to do the same once you're grown up..
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Aamir khan really does things differently..
He may come out very rarely, but when he does, he creates a sensation..
First RDB and now this..
Good things come in small packages indeed..
Amazing movie..nice songs..awesome acting..the kid rules da day!!
A must watch for all parents, all youngsters who wil be parents in a few years' time..all teachers..and anyone who likes kids..
Really go out and catch the movie..you won't regret it!
Friday, December 21, 2007
Seemed full of twists and turns
Now looking back,
Seems a straight path
Totally expected, meant to be
The dots when joined backwards do make sense
Surprise, shock or expected?
I understand the expected answer now:)
Weird that it seemed unexpected then
But maybe things look clearer from a distance always..
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
First a bit on the present month and the past sem..
Haven't had a better semester I guess!!
Goa, internship and friends..--what else would one need..appetizing starters
Then the present month..--quite the delicious main course
All friends with amazing placements..
A whirlwind of treats..
Circus(literally and figuratively), dinners, night outs, Pune..
And then the SPI--lets say the lip smacking dessert
Yours truly a nine pointer finally..
So summing up, its been a sem of "Firsts" bigtime..Hoping this huge big party continues forever!!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Shadowing on placid waters
Lush green blades of grass
Palm trees to match one's leisure
Housewives cribbing about half made dinners
Grandpas discussing politics
Chirping kids struggling on bicycles
Coocooing love birds holding hands
Nothing less than a photogenic life
Captured in the memory lens!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wish to meet some real people!!
Words of wisdom from I, me, myself:
Don't expect everyone to meet your expectations!!
Your ethics may be and will be different from people's. So don't compare!!
Don't waste your anger and effort when things can't be changed!!
What you have to do, you have to do. So don't crib. Do it or don't!!
Music: Al pacino- Peace with Inches Speech
Monday, November 12, 2007
I miss home like helll...
I miss being pampered...
I miss getting proper meals to eat..
Finally a deviation from my "High on life" mode...
I dont like being back that much today coz I finally havta studyyy!!!!! :(:(:(
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Sometimes when you write,
you want to say something..
express some thought, some whim..
but sometimes, you just scribble..
Sometimes you just write prefect nonsense
which you absolutely can
after all, its ur blog..ur space
you're allowed to write total crap:D:D
This is what inactivity does to me after a while..
God meant me to be a workaholic:D:D
Monday, November 05, 2007
A full fledged princess whose every wish and whim is fulfilled..
Home is such a huge luxury..
Like a grand hotel with someone taking constant care of you..
No wonder I never feel like coming back much:D:D
Days are going past so fast..3 down and 5 to go..
And considering this will be my longest stay for a very long time now(Dec and Summers--interns and then placements), I am feeling time is running away..
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Im calling my thoughts sporadic today..coz they are damn scattered..
Life is going quite good..Won't say much about it coz I think everytime I say its fundoo and all it gets a bit jinxed..But its going pretty nice(there I said it again..cant help it:D:D)..
Spent time with I, me , myself today..felt good..was reading something about Indian women writers in India Today..raised my writing dreams and ambitions and all again today..its cool how I always manage to get work which involves writing..nostaljigs, insight, department newsletter and now the alumni association newsletter..doing work which you enjoy is really a blessing..
Today is a day for relaxing and arbit writing as I have the whole day off tomorrrow..I can finally pick up my book again..Ohh for people who dont know, I am reading Shashi Tharoor's Riot(from my leopold-strand book shopping spree)..Interesting read..
Going home in another 10 days..looking forward to that too...mom is already asking me the menu for the week:):)..
Some great songs I am listening to on the play list right now
"Abhi na jao chod kar"-mohd. rafi
"Move your Body"-Johny Gaddar
"Tere mere sapne ab ek rang hain"
"Its rocking "--alisha chinoi
Haha..quite a cocktail(or mocktail :P:P)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I realised while talking to a friend that IIT teaches you one good thing for sure..that you are not the best..all of us here, have been mostly school toppers etc etc before coming here..so there is a feeling of being no 1..IIT sure takes that out of u as it punches you in the face with so many people who are smarter and better than you...love this institute for taking all my air out and making me humble about everythng..and making me able enuf to accept losing and even appreciate the people who defeat me..
(reference reference to the ITC interview..still hurts a bit:D:D..will blog about it later)
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Its God that gives us this life and to take it away is a sin
But inspite of that we find some killings justified or better said, not that sinful, as they had a reason
cases in mind
---Rang De Basanti where a corrupt politician is killed by a group of friends to avenge the death of a friend and claim his honor
---Provoked where a lady kills her husband after having suffered years of torture and abuse
---Phir bhi dil hai hindustani where a father kills a person to avenge the rape of his daughter
---euthanasia or mercy killing where a person is suffering extreme non-ending pain and wants to be killed himself or in a sort of last stage terminal illness and wants to die..
---in the case of war
so is killing right or wrong..or is there no definite answer..too subjective an issue maybe..infact this sometimes confuses me when i try and think whether there should be death sentence for rape offence..most of the times i end up supporting death sentence for it, as in a rape you are emotionally and physically destroying another being totally..scarring someone for life..but does that give us license to kill??dunno..confused on what my opinions are-- as usual..
Friday, August 10, 2007
Today was the most beautiful day of my life.
I became a mother today. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. And I am not saying that she is beautiful because she is my daughter. The whole hospital wing’s nurses said that she was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen. Her almond-shaped eyes are like a gateway to heaven. Her innocence is reflected in every feature of hers. I am so happy and so is Zean. I have never seen him happier, not even at our wedding. He just adores our daughter. We have decided to name her Jeannie after Ralph’s daughter. And guess what? Ralph is flying in tomorrow to bless Jeannie. I’m looking forward to talking to him again so much.
As I closed my diary and put it on the bedside table, I felt pleasure and excitement for our new beginnings. I looked towards Zean who was sleeping, sitting in the chair itself, and then towards Jeannie in her crib. I felt complete. The contentment gave way to a feeling of immense gratitude to God, and of course my mentor, my guide –Ralph, my barefoot Doc.
I snuggled deeper into my hospital quilt and my mind wandered to our first meeting, three years back at Santa Marina. Perhaps it was coincidence that he happened to be there that same evening or perhaps it was my destiny.
As I sat on the beach that day, and watched the waves come and go, I felt a sort of resentment towards the sea. I hated it to be so huge to unsettle the sand and take it into itself. I felt resentment towards the birds flying so high in the sky. I hated their merry chirping which unsettled my gory feelings. I hated the young child making a sandcastle that would be washed away by the next huge wave. I thought of warning the child, but something cold and crass inside me awoke and I thought ‘Let him get what he deserves. Let his castle be destroyed. Serves him right to be so happy ’. A tear glistened in my eye. It was starting to drizzle and I was happy that I would be able to pass off my tears as rain.
Then suddenly from nowhere, this man came and sat two rocks distant from me. As I took a quick glance at him, I assumed him to be around 50 yrs old. Though he was wearing normal clothes, there was a difference in the way he carried himself. He had a presence, if you know what I mean. When he saw that I was looking at him, I quickly averted my eyes. Afraid that he would strike a conversation, I decided to go back to my hut.
There was a blizzard for two days after that. I was happy. The weather suited my mood and gave me something to mope about. Finally, unfortunately, the weather cleared up. The sun shone again and my mother, in the hope that my mood would improve if my surroundings changed, pushed me out of the hut. I did not have the energy to argue, so I just left.
As I took my place on the rocks, the same man suddenly came and sat beside me. He was in normal attire; the only thing strange was that he was barefoot on the hot burning sand.
He spoke first.
“Hello, I am Ralph. Ralph Hookes.”
I realized there was no getting away. I had to be cordial.
“Hi. I am Sinara”
He said” Nice name. Definitely unusual.”
“I need to go for a walk. It was nice meeting you. ”, I said, hoping he would take the hint and leave me alone.”
“Sure. Would you mind if I join you?”
“Umm… I guess not”, I replied. I decided that I couldn’t exactly tell him on his face that I wanted to be alone.
As he talked to me, I came to know that he had come along with his daughter for his annual holiday. He was an accountant. I couldn’t help asking him why he was walking barefoot on the hot sand.
“Well I think you will find this stupid, but actually it makes me feel good. It is one of the main elements of my sand theory”, he answered.
By this time my curiosity had got the better of my sardonic attitude. I asked him,” Sand Theory? What is that?”
Ralph looked a bit sheepish and replied,” Well, I believe that sand is the origin of human philosophy. Sand is time, sand is relationships, sand signifies life.”
He paused a bit and said,”Well if you join me for a cup of coffee, I’ll tell you more about my theory.”
I thought for a minute, but again my curiosity got the better of me and I said yes.
We moved into the nearby coffee shack and found two corner seats where we could talk undisturbed. As the waiter served coffee, he started speaking, ”I believe that sand is the simile of life. My three main elements of sand theory are like this.
Secondly, I believe sand symbolises relationships. The tighter you hold on to sand the more it falls out of your hand. It is the same with relationships. Sometimes you just need to let it go. You can’t hold on too much. As the old adage goes ‘If it comes back it was yours, if it doesn’t it never belonged to you’
Thirdly, and maybe the most important, sand has taught me to move on in life. Have you ever stood at one particular place near the sea such that the waves are rushing in and out from beneath your feet? Well if you haven’t, then try it. You will realize that sand covers your feet and you feel you are sinking. It is exactly the same in life. If you keep standing at one place, you are destroyed. Life is all about learning how to move on and leaving unfortunate incidents behind.
Sinara, are you okay? Are you listening?”
I was speechless. Without saying a word, I ran back from the shack to my hut. By the time I reached my room I was in hysterics. I let myself cry for a long time. Then after I had cooled down, I decided to try it. It was a signal from God. Everything fitted so perfectly. I took off my slippers, went down on the beach and started walking.
I had never been sad or depressed as a child. In fact I had had a very happy childhood. At 20, I was in my third year in bachelor of mathematics, studying my passion. I was the captain of the women’s basketball team and the assistant editor of my university newspaper. I had a perfect boyfriend, Roy. A perfect life in all.
But 22nd May changed everything. As I was coming back from a game with Leese, a co-player and a very good friend, on her motorbike, we had an accident. Miraculously, I was saved as I fell on the road but Leese fell with the motorbike into the valley. I escaped the accident with a slight head injury and a ruptured spine, but Leese was dead. I became well with 2 months of hard physiotherapy. But I couldn’t play basketball anymore and had to wear a brace for an year.
Though my physical condition improved considerably, I never recovered emotionally. I couldn’t accept that Leese was dead. She had always been so lively. She was the chirpiest girl on our team and I somehow could not come to terms with her absence. Perhaps I felt guilty that I was alive. I don’t know. But my attitude changed considerably. My grades dropped, I stopped caring about college. I became over possessive about Roy. But that was the time I needed his support most and that was the time that he left me, saying he had found someone else. I was distraught. I broke off from everyone, even my parents. Then as my summer break approached, Ma and Pa decided to take me to the beach to stay, as I had loved beaches as a child.
I stopped walking. I sat on the same rock on which I had sat a few hours before, but I was not the same I washed my feet in the sea. I purged myself of so many parasitic emotions- my hatred for Roy, my guilt of being alive, my disgust that I had developed for anything and anybody merry. I realized that Leese wouldn’t like me living my life like this. I realized the amount of hurt I was causing my parents with my behaviour. Something changed inside me that night.
As the sun’s rays streamed in the next morning, I rushed to Ralph’s hut, which he had pointed out to me the evening before. As he opened the door with groggy eyes, I gave him a hug and thanked him for telling me his sand theory. I told him,” You know Ralph, you were my doctor last night. You cured the deepest incisions in my emotions. Thank you, thank you so much, my Barefoot Doc.”
The next year I met Zean. We got married and the rest is history.
I again looked at Zean and Jeannie sleeping peacefully and decided to say a silent prayer of gratitude to God for everything-for Jeannie, for my rebirth, for sending me my angel- Ralph, My Barefoot Doc.
COMMENTS: I wrote this in 12th standard; the part I like best in it is the one about moving on in life. I believe the story can be improvised upon a lot in the way of its presentation. There are lots of things which can be expressed without saying them outrightly which I haven't done in this. I was scared about it being any good at all but got tanvi’s approval so I decided it was at least some good writing it. I know its still fart:D:Dbut I guess I can be excused as I was quite young that time.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
had a gr8 time in the department with a lab cancelled..then i finally got the anti-termite treatment done (tho temporary)..that was followed by me getting my first pay..got 5000 bucks all of my own..and cant think of what to spend them on..im finally understanding the worth of money maybe:D:D(tats something which my mum has spent years on making me understand and still failed:P)
then came ravali's birthday..we all gifted her cutteee cutteee stuff and she loved them all..it was great to see pure glee on her face(sometimes seeing people happy can make you feel gr8 from inside)..love u baby:*:*:*..ul go a long way:) coz ur such a gr8 kid at heart:)
then i came back to the room and was taking a book out when out fell a small book/card my parents had sent me on my birthday which had beautiful words on how special daughters are.. now while writing all this(il be able to post it in the morning only coz of lan ban) im sitting in
my bed listening to howie day-collide(gr8 song..plss hear), and looking at my cheque and the card:)..gives a warm feeling inside..a friend recently asked me why i get happy on such small stuff..i told him, isnt that better..because i get to be happy more frequently this way:):)
PS:love you chinka and gult junta..wudnt be the same here without you all rocking the hostel:):)am thankful i have 2 more years with you here:):)
PS1:my blog juss completed 100 posts(this is the 101th)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
a warning for all the considerate people who read my blog..dont dont dont watch the movie PARTNER..its the most pathetic movie i have ever seen..ruddy dialogues...imagine dialogues that rhyme..reminded me of GUNDA..salman khan wears gay clothes throughout(orange pants and yellow tweety tshirt..ugghhh)..looks for any excuse to take off his shirt..govinda opts to take off his pants..theyve juss spoiled HITCH out and out..i mean how can you go so wrong in a remake..
i sat through 2 hours of the movie and finally thought it was over..but nooo..i just felt it was over..seems they decided to extend the movie to include some nonsense obscenity..and there they went on for half an hour again..
this movie almost moved me to throw my chappal at the screen so dont dont dont go for this torture..
PS:only go if you wanna gawk at katrina..
Sunday, July 29, 2007
that describes my mood today
just came back to the insti while it was raining..got a little wet..came to my room which is soooo beautiful..(its has to be considering the pains i took to decorate it:) )..i have wall hangings..i have posters..i have cuuuuteee flowershaped yellow slips..a bright curtain..great bed..ganpati idols..a gentle breeze coming in..
what else does a gr8 room need:D:D:D..nd most of all its my ownnnnnn for 2 years now:)..gr8 feeling..tho i do find being alone a little odd..but il get used to it soon i guess:)..
so the result being i'm all smiles:):):):):)..i wish blogspot had smileys...just want to stay in da room and take in the beauty of the rains outside now..
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I dunno if most people have heard about this book..its been a very controversial book at the time it was released..written by J.D.Salinger..i still dont understand why the author wrote what he wrote..but still i loved the book..couldn't put it down once i started though not much made sense to me..but just putting some quotes here i loved..
“You take somebody that cries their goddam eyes out over phoney stuff in the movies, and nine times out of ten they're mean bastards at heart.”
"If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. "
"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the world. It's impossible."
"I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though" "I don't even know what I was running for - I guess I just felt like it. "
"I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I'm going, I'm liable to say I'm going to the opera. It's terrible. "
"People never notice anything."
"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."--and I think thats what the author did..:D
PS:its finally raining here..yaayyyyyyyyy...mmmmuaaaahhh mumbai:)
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Recently when my cousin who lives in canada came to visit us, we ended up discussing on settling abroad and I heard myself telling her how I didn't want to settle abroad.
Even I did not know my views clearly until that moment.
I don't want to settle abroad as I don't want to sit in taxis playing english songs and kill the pani puri craving with burgers always.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I realised that, thats the most private thing; your thoughts, your true opinions about people, your memories. Is this true for everyone? Or are there people who are dead frank with all they feel. Because I know am not.
Everyone's mind jumps from one cue to another uniquely. There are so many links to my thoughts--like books make me crave for coffee/tea and cake..rain always reminds me of mumbai..a particular person always makes me smile--and i would never want to reveal those links to anyone at all. I detest some people in my life(i have a vague feeling they know my true feelings) but sadly i can't say it to their face; but it wud be pretty bad for me if they came to read my thoughts :D..(waise not bad for me..just awkward..hehe)
Just imagine a situation when your mind gets a voice of it own.
You're sitting with some relatives saying"what a beautiful dress" and your mind blurts out "this gaudy dress makes you look even fatter than you are"
Or you are sitting with a classmate talking and suddenly your mind blurts out "why da hell are you such a flirt"
Or you're listenin to a friend talk and suddenly your mind starts snoring...zzzzzz...
:)))..hehe..thank god people cant read minds..and our minds dont have voices..
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
I just happen to be plain lucky these summers to chance upon one good book after another:). Just finished To Kill a Mockingbird written by Harper Lee. Its a beautiful book:) and quite hard hitting as it shows the hypocrisy and prejudice of society through the eyes of an innocent 8 year old.The plot revolves around 2 siblings-jem and scout-elder bro and younger sis(maybe thats why i loved it even more:) ). The story is narrated by 8 year old Scout of her childhood, based in a sleepy town Maycomb, when the society was fraught with feelings of racism towards the blacks. It also covers the rough times faced by these kids when their father, a lawyer, is handed a case to defend a black man accused of raping a white woman. Inspite of everyone knowing the fact that the black man was innocent, the jury pronounced him guilty, despite all the efforts put in by their father to save him. At one point in the book, Scout is baffled by one of her teachers who criticizes Hitler’s prejudice against Jews while indulging in her own prejudice against blacks. So, the book shows in a satirical way, how irrational adults can be, due to prejudice. It also makes you reflect upon the fact that children are the purest human beings, as they haven't been exposed to the evil in the world yet and thus have clear-cut concepts of what is fair and what is not. Putting some lines I liked below:
"I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of geting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. Its when you know you are licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see through it no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."--said by Atticus(father of jem and scout)
"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember its a sin to kill a mockingbird."--Atticus
"I came to the conclusion that people were just peculiar. I withdrew from them, and never thought about them until i was forced to."-- Scout
"..chewing gum cleaved to her palate and rendered her speechless."--reason a lady gave to Jem for not eating shewing gum :D
There is a movie on it also. I haven't watched it yet but I can bet it can never catch the essence of the book. And its a short book of 300 pages so an easy read also. Do try it:)
PS: The book won the pulitzer prize in 1961, an year after it was published.
Monday, July 16, 2007
I have been planning to put up this post for very long now. Happened to read shantaram in these summer holidays and have one word for it"awweessoooommeee". Its the best book I have read in quite a long time. The last book that impressed me this much was Godfather i think or maybe atlas shrugged. This book is one which doesn't lose its pace at any point. Full of action, drama, emotion. And the picture it paints is very colorful. Very vivid descriptions and amazing use of metaphors.aahh..il run out of adjectives but will not be able to praise the book enuf..
I loved the characterization also a lot..of khaderbhai, lee, abdullah tehari, lisa carter and of course karla, one of the most impressive characters(atleast in the initial part of the book). Another thing lovable in the book are the lines spoken by karla..which have inspired an earlier post also..:D so just putting some i liked here(most of them have been spoken by karla my all time favourite:D)..read them with a little attention..ull love them..:)
"The world and I are not on the speaking terms. The world tries to win
me back, but it doesn't work. I guess I'm just not the forgiving
"It's my favourite place in the whole world, to be treated like dirt."
"The truth is a bully we all pretend to like."
"He is the kind of man who wears his sleeve on his heart."
"I could never respect a man who didn't have the good sense to be at
least a little afraid of me."
"Sometimes you have to surrender before you win."
"Wisdom is just cleverness, with all the guts kicked out of it."
"I'd only give you advice if I didn't care what happens to you."
"If fate doesn't make you laugh, then you just don't get the joke."
"I take everything personally- that's what being a person is all about."
"They look like monuments of something that died. Something very
unpopular.. like... human spirit, for example."
"Sometimes I think that's what heaven is- a place where everybody's
happy because nobody loves anybody else, ever."
"Happiness is a myth, it was invented to make us buy things."
"I don't know what frightens me more,the power that crushes us or our
endless ability to endure it."
"Mistakes are like bad loves, the more you learn from them, the more
you wish they'd never happened."
"It isn't a secret, unless keeping it hurts."
"Depression only happens to people who don't know how to be sad."
"Luck is what happens to you when fate gets tired of waiting"
"The past reflects eternally between 2 mirrors:the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say"
"Poverty and pride are devoted blood brothers until one,always and inevitably, kills the other"
And for all those who are too lazy to devour the 900 something page book, there is a movie being made on it. But I suggest the book.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
they started with a family get together after quite some time..bhai me mama papa..livin in 3 diff cities..mum dad in one, me in another nd bhai in 3rd can be quite tiresome..we r together juss 2-3 times an year..and tat too for not more than 2-3 days at a stretch..so it was nice being together for almost a week for a change..
and den came my cousin sis from canada who is gettin married in august..she stayed wid us for a month..and i had a balll...really..had an elder sis for da first time..nd it felt gr8..felt especially nice to have company to talk late into da nite at home..was shoppin everday for a month i think..it was interesting..jewellary..wedding lehenga..wedding suit..sherwani..saris nd da rest..punjabi weddings are so grand really..i thnk dey must be leaving parents quite impoverished:D..
den after she left, i started reading and devoured awesome books this time like midnight's children, shantaram, 1984, 48 laws of power...by the way, those who havent read shantarm are really missing out on something(a blog on shantaram l8r).
also, all this time i started blogging wid new fervour and i think building this blog has been the most constructive thing i have done this summers..because it has given me sumthng to look forward too..i am totally smitten by it and love nurturing it..blogging dus being my fav daily activity:)
and den the gr8est trip ever to mussoorie and singapore..enjoyed just too much coz tried so many new things..and saw so many new places..made me feel i want to host a travel show one day:D:D hehe
and tomorrow, am going to my brothers place for a week ..gosh..cant believe he has his own place nd all
bbye fairyland..aka palace..aka dreamworld..:(:(
Friday, July 13, 2007
I happened to watch a news report on India Tv today..which showed that the sheets that we get in the trains are hardly washed, inspite of them charging extra for it..i had seen the sheets lying on the station, but i always believed they must be washing them later..but it turns out that they are used by about 8-10 people before they are washed.. The only thing which is done to them is that they are ironed, so you can't tell that they havent been washed..Fake bills are shown of the washing and the officials hog the extra cash..
my reaction to this:ewwwwww...ewwwww....ewwww
am travelling in a night train day after tomorrow..:(:(:(:(
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
"Be what you want to be, Taking things the way they come,Nothing is as nice as fine in Paradise and sipping on Bacardi rum."
You can always be what you want to be. What you are today is not what you were at any point of time before. As we have all heard before, nothing is constant except change itself. Consciously or unconsciously, we keep changing ourselves continously. A habit here, a habit there. Changing to become a person that what we want to see ourselves as. That is the reason that from childhood to now, the no. of role models has been decreasing for us. For example, at one time i admired a family friend for the way she carried herself. Now i don't. Probably becauseI carry myself da same way now. At one time, i used to admire a close friend for her confidence. Now I don't, as I am tat confident myself. For example, one of my friends now signs off in mails as her bf used to, wid da same exclamatory expression i mean. Some people may call that aping, but thats not aping as you are not copying someone totally. You are just building qualities in yourself that you admire in people. So as a person, you may be made of several bits and pieces, developed at different times within you. Sort of similar to an assembled PC. Where you get da best of everything.(this expression assembled PC is copied from someone's orkut profile..sorry:D)
And if you want to be , you can reorganise the pieces and make yourself a new person. I realised tat everytime I changed schools (which was every 3-4 years because of dad's job), I became a new person. If my school friends from two schools try and compare my qualities, they would find huge differences. Talk about major time mpd:D(multiple personality disorder). hehe. and if my skool frnds (frm 11th 12th) saw how lukhi I am in college they would never believe it.
Waise I can't say if the above said holds for everyone. It does hold for me.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Everything that happens in life is for a reason. The consequences of every occurrence are pre-decided. Things that may seem very small also have a reason as to why they occur.
Sometimes you can see the good things hidden behind an event, but sometimes you can’t, as the bad thing has been prevented from happening(which is also a good thing:D). Sometimes you can understand the reasons immediately, at other times it may take a lifetime to understand why a certain thing happened. Somehow I feel that I am able to comprehend quite a lot of things from my past(not much of a past waise considering only 19 years:P) understanding why it was good they happened. Some things are unexplained yet, I cannot understand everything, but quite a lot that happened makes sense. As a friend told me(I thought it was original but later realized those were steve jobs’ words) you can only connect the dots looking backwards. It makes much more sense then.
The jigsaw does get completed eventually to form a full picture. So if you find certain past events unnecessary or wrong, wait. You’ll see the better side of them sooner or later.
ekta kapoor continues to catch my fancy:D:D
chanced on another serial my grandparents were watching today:D
take a look at the dialogues(put senti music in background for effect)
"aapne apni zindagi dekar jis bagiya ko sawaara hai, koi bhi bahar ka mali aakar nahi ujaad paayega"
"batwaare ke zehreele beej boke ja rahe ho tum"
wouldn't you say the script writer was obsessed with gardening?:D
a nice quote
"live some loves, let go some"
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Belonging to a Sikh household, among my peers I was the one who detested smoking most I think; probably because since none of our acquaintances smoked, I never had to face anyone smoking except strangers at railway stations, bus stops, and such other public places(where actually smoking is banned). I hated the smell and used to get furious at the forced passive smoking, so in such situations, I always made it a point to give a huge glare to the culprit. I had this notion that anyone who smoked was either a rich spoilt brat or a poor addict; whoever it was, always managed to induce a dislike in me for them and their weakness, hence the glare.
But gradually things changed. I moved on to college, where almost every 4th person smokes. No one considers it a big deal anymore. In fact in dram practices, we have had cigarette breaks at 4 in the night for people who are not able to work without their standard puff. I found all this weird in the beginning but gradually accepted that people do smoke, and that too without any sense of guilt which I (as a kid) thought they would have.
I really respect people who stay away from this slow poisoning habit or who have quit it; that shows a will power which is admirable. Though I don’t give angry glares to people who smoke anymore (now I even have good friends who unfortunately smoke), I still continue to detest the habit. Or maybe I just fail to understand the reasons for smoking. All I can see is that probably something which started as an experiment went on to become a habit, and then supposedly a tension reliever to which they got addicted. For a non-smoker, it is difficult to comprehend why killing yourself slowly is such a fad. People who smoke and by chance happen to come onto this blog , please do enlighten me.
Anyways, the reason I started thinking all this recently was because I happened to come across a good idea I wanted to put up. On cigarette packets in India we have a statutory warning “smoking is injurious to health”. On my recent holiday to Singapore, I saw that on their cigarette packets, along with the same statutory warning, they have images which show what smoking does to you. The images(spoilt teeth, tongue, disfigured neck) are quite gross and I think they may be able to remove the glamour part (which I think lot of people associate smoking with) from cigarette packets. Maybe this would at least encourage beginners to stay away from this poison. I don’t know whom to suggest the idea to, so just putting it up here; so that it may circulate, and maybe, reach the right head so we can have something like this in India too.
On a lighter note, couldn't resist putting these up..
“People always come up to me and say that my smoking is bothering them... Well, it's killing me!”
“I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself”
“I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.”
“smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
Friday, July 06, 2007
I saw provoked yesterday. It is a beautiful story of indomitable human spirit. It is a real story about the life of kiranjit ahluwalia, an indian staying in UK, who after having been emotionally, sexually, physically abused for 10 years, burnt her husband to death.
Imagine being scared in your own house for yourself..imagine protecting your kids from their own father..imagine just being quiet , suffering, so as to protect family honor..imagine being abused physically during your pregnancy..having to beg money from your own husband to feed your children..And this is the hell that, kiranjit ahluwalia faced and a huge number of battered women continue to face everyday of their lives.
So finally, after another particularly vehemant beating, quite rightfully provoked, she killed him and landed in jail. People feel restricted in a prison and she, ironically, felt free for the first time. In her words "jail of law where atlast i found freedom". It is in prison that she started living her life finally, learnt english, made friends and rebuilt her broken spirits.
Aishwarya rai's acting in the movie is really commendable. She has raised the bar for so many actors with this superb piece.
Some lines i liked in the movie-
"In life there is no honour in silent suffering. There is no affection,no comfort to be found in love that is abused. It is our responsibility as mothers, to raise our sons to treat women with love and respect not violence and anger only then will the suffering end. My story is a part of the picture. I may not be important, but the issue is. Please donot forget that there are many women who need help from you"-(spoken by kiran(aishwarya) at the end of her trial)
"a women is a toy, a plaything broken at will, stuck together at will"-(spoken by kiran(aishwarya) describing what she felt about the abuse)
"wat sort of a world is this..where a women has to lose her marbles to get justice and a man just has to lose his temper"-(spoken by nandita das who plays a woman working for the NGO which helped kiran)
What kiran faced and how she managed to hold herself through the torture reminded me of a line by karla in shantaram-"I don't know what frightens me more,the power that crushes us or our endless ability to endure it."
PS: the society that supported her cause is SOUTHALL BLACK SISTERS
in case you want to read more on the case
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
1) I saw penguins ..they are sooo cutee...they walk in this weird manner as if theyr too fat to walk..found dem adorable..esp the baby penguins..global warming has a huge impact on penguins as they need cold waters to survive..never thought of that..so if also find penguins cute..save electricity and pollute less nd all u can do to prevent global warming..2) At the jurong bird park we paid 2$ to feed the birds and while 2 birds were pecking in the bowl, a bird came and sat on my shoulder..and i was..i guess scared initially..coz it was so sudden..but it was such an amazin feeling..of exhilaration..pure fun..u can tell from the pics i guess..
3) i saw dolphins playing football:D nd doing somersaults and wat not..it seems tat dolphins are grey when theyr young and turn pink once the grow older..the ones i saw were pink..tho the pics are not clear i guess
4) i knew parrots talk but dint know that they sing..they paint..they act..and even add and subtract..theyr intelligence is equivalent to a 4 year old kid..wow rite?here is a pic of a parrot hoisting a flag..
5) had chinese tea at this traditional chinese tea shop where we had gone to shop..the shopkeeper was very nice and made us drink chinese tea..
6) sat on da top of an open double decker(they dont run in mumbai anymore)..had seen it in old hindi movies and always wanted to sit in one:D
7) sat in a shoehouse:D
8) saw an amzing laser and lite show..never seen nythng like tat..
9) the best example of the world becoming a global village.."a cheeni baby in hands of a sardar":D:D..haha dats papa holding a chinki kid..
enuf for today i guess..rest later:)
what was it that enticed me about this pic?
a color i find gawdy
soothing it seemed
serenity and mystery
beauty partially revealed
maybe 'twas the mischief
or the suppressed twinkle
the smiling eyes
or the concealed dimple
defying the norms
without defying any
she beheld an untold story
which was best untold
Friday, June 22, 2007
went shopping today..and went inside a book shop for about five minutes..intoxicated me really..made me realise tat i can so easily spend a fortune on books..infact once i start working i am going to start collecting books of a genre called "coffee table books"..which are basically books(normally highly illustrated) you keep in da drawing room..something u can skim through while sipping tea or even guests can have a look..dont require continous reading..( i think the first i will buy wud be"to be or not to be"..tats amitabh bachhan's biography)
was just browsing for coffee table books and chanced upon this book on sikh marriage ceremonies reminding me of one ceremony i love which is da choodha ceremony..u must have noticed the mahrun bangles that newly married punjabi girls wear(if not see below)..those bangles called da choodha are dipped in milk nd slipped on to the bride's wrists by her maternal uncle just before the wedding..somehow i find dis ritual very sweet..
so bbye adeos sayonara for a week i guess..give your eyes rest coz there will be no blogs for somedays now..:):)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Once my friends and I went to a shop to buy some stuff and he gave us bak more money than he should have.We realised this a minute after we left the shop and one of my friends thought that going back to return the money was stupidity....(tho by popular vote we went bak)
Another time someone was telling me how they went to a 5-star hotel and the restaurant forgot to charge them for some dessert..and they did not offer to pay as anyways the restaurant earned enough profit..seemed weird thinking to me..the hotel earned money for its services..even tho it may have exorbitant rates..it provided justified service..not paying seemed dishonesty to me when they were relating the story , but again it seemed stupidity to them..
Different people have different sets of morality i guess..its wrong to judge anyone also..the best thing is to stick by your conscience and not go by people's definition of things..
Sometimes i lose out because of I dont cheat in exams as almost everyone does..but i think tat everything is compensated somewhere so maybe the luck i get someplace else is because i got less marks where i was honest..or maybe the bad luck people get someplace else is because they cheated somewhere and got more than they deserved..coz finally you always get what you deserve..
I am trying to figure out whether i believe in this statement..Can we change the world..or not..
colours splashed on
brush strokes put in
hues spread across the canvas
i realise its analogy to life..
heart, the painter
face, the canvass
a way of expression
come out on the canvass so clear
red is love
the strongest emotion
the boldest colour
shadows out all other hues
black means hurt
lonliness and pain
envy and revenge
angry and insane
yellow is friendship
the truest emotion
bright like the sunbeam
thats always indispensably there
white is purity
peace of mind
clarity of thoughts
confidence and sure
blue is stability
sincerity in thinking
firmness of purpose
gray is melancholy
a somber shade
like the dark clouds
it casts a shadow of gloom
green is energy
livliness in views
enthusiasm to move forward
zeal to continue
indeed, life is a painting
an assembly of moods
a cluster of colours..
wrote this when i was in 11th standard..My blog is named after this poem..
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
well u see someone stole my profile pic on orkut and created a new bogus profile with my name and pic...Well i was angry initially, but then i realised isnt imitation the best form of flattery;)..so a 23 year old aping me..aah mayb I shud take it as a compliment..
If you use orkut, thats me
and thats my clone(imposterX(X( )
So please do take out time and report abuse or atleast ignore the second user...
Bin about 7 weeks at home...and aaahhhhh..am finally bored..and feel like doing something creative..my hands are itching..and so are my feet actually( for travelling)..i may just go on a fantabulous trip in a week..but nothing is confirmed so i cant even be happy about that:(..
over the last week i have tried movies, cooking, writing , reading ,photoshop and even pot painting...but the damn creative itch doesnt stop..i guess i need to be working on something..am finally tired of being lukha..
even reading is making me feel more inactive coz shantaram is too active a book...
God, i need workkkk..make me busy pleasseee
any suggestions on what to do:( ?
Sunday, June 17, 2007
2 quotes i liked:
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. "
- Mark Twain
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Its something you've cooked yourself..
Because only then do you realise the amount of effort that has gone into it..because you stand in the hot kitchen sweating..and in my case sneezing(because of the masala)..so when finally it is made..you are so tired that you gobble it up wid pleasure..even though it is a little inadequate in NaCl :Dhehe..for the first time i ventured into the kitchen today(perhaps cheeni kum chefgiri inspired me:D) voluntarily and made a proper dish totally independently..(tea and omelette and maggi and sandwiches are not exactly proper dishes)i made pasta today..yipppeeeeeeeee(am still excited about havin achieved this..so dont mind if u see expressions like this interspersed in the blog), so with nothing else to do and also to show off my achievement, i decided to share my grand recipe(yayyyyy) on the blog:D
1 tomato(mashed into curry)
1 onion (cut in big slices)
6-7 pieces of green beans(cut into pieces)
2 tablespoon of oil
2 handfuls of macaroni ( i prefer the elbow shaped one )
1 chilli (chopped)
1) Add macaroni and around 2-3 cups of water and 1/2 teaspoon of salt in a pan and keep it for about ten fifteen minutes(till the macaroni is cooked(read eatable)..taste it and ull come to know) on sim flame.
2) Add salt to taste in the tomato curry( i added about 1/2 teaspoon of salt..better less than excess..coz u cant do much about excess:D)
3) In a frying pan or kadhai, add oil and chilli. Then add the onions. Once the onions are brown, add beans and tomato curry..add tomato ketchup to taste..keep stirring continously..(everything on sim flame)
4) Now when the macaroni is well cooked, put it in the kadhai too..Stir properly..cover the kadhai and let it cook for a while..
tadaaaaaaaaa...the dish is ready...
serve hot with chilled coffee;)
Friday, June 15, 2007
what the nazis did..the tortures that hitler subjected the jews to..the destruction..the barbarism..the utter senselessness of those years..the killing of humanity and of everything humane still surprises me everytime i come across an example showcasing that terror..
Recently I happened to watch two movies both on the same cause-"the pianist" and "life is beautiful"
It showed how old people and young children were taken to (supposedly) showers and instead killed in the gas chambers(sealed chambers connected by pipes to cylinders of carbon monoxide) there..It showed the ruthlessness of the soldiers doing it..carrying out the instructions they had received coldly, with no mercy..How did Hitler manage to convince them all..How was he able to turn them into such monsters..It is said that every man has a devil inside him..i guess somehow Hitler was able to inspire that devil to come out and carry out inhumane crimes in the name of race purification..I want to read "mein kampf" next ..to see what was inside his mind..his justification for all of it..
One of hitler's steps was to start legalized euthansia..by which he started eliminating all those who were mentally or physically disabled or were chronically ill, his reason for this being that such people were "unproductive national comrades"..what the hell..as if life is to be lived only while you're productive..and if you live a productive life, you're bound to become unproductive someday when your body becomes tired..and then according to hitler, you should be killed as you are of no use..
All this also makes me wonder what had happened to God in all these years..Did He just close His eyes and ears..but then i guess, why blame God for the atrocities by mankind..
Thursday, June 14, 2007
"Most loves are like that, from what i can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw out your pride to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and your independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And its still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it's going to take you down with it. I'v seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that's why I'm sick of love."
my favorite lines..
Something that may help you in making decisions (esp if you're as indecisive as me) and also in taking risks:
"you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."
Find what you love in life and do it..
"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."
Just listen to yourself..
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."